Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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