I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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