"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
