bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
cat food counts as protein by the way
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
