bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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