No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize