I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
MIDGETS
????
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
