Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
