So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
