Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
