Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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