i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
