Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
