am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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