And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She announced her abortion via fbk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
