Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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