he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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