At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
