Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
