please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
