I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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