How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
