Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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