please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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