And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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