dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
