Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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