is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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