was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
