Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
and she was petting her beer can
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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