I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Your dad touched me again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
