so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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