my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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