... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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