Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
