"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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