idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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