At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No subtext here. People are naked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
