A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I understand Curling. That high.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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