He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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