Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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