Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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