I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
