She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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