He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
