i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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