come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Come on in and take your pants off
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
