Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
