I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
