Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
