This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
